People often ask me why I’m so smiley.

No attorney worth her salt should look so happy. As Courtney Kimpo once said to me, “I thought you worked with puppies all day!” Well the truth is, for the past year, I’ve had a special, sweet secret that makes me break out into a goofy grin (and sometimes into dance). This week, as I contemplate my one-year anniversary with Pilgrimage, I could no longer contain my overwhelming gratitude for this studio, its teachers, staff, students, student-teachers, and all who contribute to its collective warmth and support.

In October 2009, less than a year and a half ago, I was diagnosed with ankylosing spondylitis, which is a chronic condition that causes inflammation of the joints between the spinal bones, and the joints between the spine and pelvis. It eventually causes the affected spinal bones to fuse together causing extreme stooping and pain in the spine. It also comes with some other painful/unsightly inflammations like arthritis, iritis (inflammation of the iris), chelitis (mouth sores), and anything that could be inflamed (or any “-itis”) grew inflamed. In essence, my body was attacking itself and I felt powerless to stop it.

I fell into deep despair. During flare-ups of my condition, I couldn’t get out of bed or stand straight. My left eye was half blind from iritis, my right hand was crippled with arthritis, I had sores around my mouth, and I walked around stooped and wincing from pain. It felt like gravity or the Hand of God was driving me into the earth like a human nail. I felt like the hideous hunchback of San Diego. I was seeing ophthalmologists, dermatologists, and rheumatologists, and the side effects from the various medications that only treated the symptoms were almost worse than the symptoms themselves. I worried I wouldn’t be able to continue my law practice in California and contemplated moving back to Canada to take advantage of its cheaper health care. I kept thinking, “Why me?”

I started yoga at the end of January 2010 and made Pilgrimage my home at the end of March 2010. My transformation was quick and healing came almost instantaneously. Yoga reminded me of my childhood Qi Gong training and re-taught me that breath coupled with intention is an amazing, effective healer. With the help of Sujantra’s “Focus, Relax, Peace” CD, I developed a daily meditation practice that I combined with some Qi Gong principles to supplement my daily asana practice. Each class I took at Pilgrimage taught me something new about my mind, body, and sprit, about yoga, and about healing energy. I learned about “bhakti” or devotion; I learned about attitude, alignment, and action from the Anusara classes offered; I learned to lead with my heart. But the biggest lesson I learned was that out of pain, comes opportunity for healing; out of sadness comes opportunity for joy; and out of darkness, there is opportunity for light.

I think of my chronic condition as a blessing. Had I not been in such desperate pain, I’m not sure I would have ever discovered the joys of yoga and meditation, or would I have gotten reacquainted with my breath, or realize the beautiful potential of this earthly body.

So that is why I am so ecstatic. When you know miracles happen and they can happen to you, it’s no wonder I’m so excited. Happy, happy!

Happy Anniversary and thank you for all you’ve done for me. My heart explodes with gratitude and love for my Pilgrimage family.

Eunice Lau